Category Archives: love

Love, Not Commands

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The first is … ‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’   from Mark 12

When Jesus was asked which of the commandments was most important, his answer, According to Mark 12, seemed to suggest that he is a person whose ministry is based on love, not commands.

Sure, the two statements in the scriptures above are written like commandments – they say “you shall”—but what follows those words is much more about teaching people how to have a good life than telling them what God requires of them.

So what does Jesus say God commands?  That’s simple enough:  Love God and love everybody.  How hard is that?  In reality, of course, both of those simple teachings are difficult to live up to and sometimes even intentionally ignored.

Loving God should be easy.  God is responsible for our very existence, so we should have an innate, overwhelming joy for the one set our lives into motion. Too often, however, I’ve noticed people exhibiting contempt for God because they really aren’t satisfied with their lives.  They’re not perfect, so God gets the blame. Perhaps their energy would be better directed toward improving themselves rather than attacking God.

And what about loving other people? That should be easy, too, since we’re all siblings. We’re all joined together by God, our common creator. But if that isn’t enough reason to love the people around you, think of it this way: You can’t fully love God unless you love what God has created. And you can’t love the things God has created without a loving respect for the creator.

Try to see the people around you from what you imagine is God’s perspective.

To do that, you’ll have to love everyone just as they are. You’ll have to accept them, even if they’re flawed. You’ll have to affirm the worth of each person. You’ll have to help them grow to be better and encourage them to call up the very best they have inside themselves.

To love people radically and unquestioningly, you’ll have to use all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. God does. And showing that kind of love to other people is the best way to show it to God.

If you call that a commandment, then that’s what I think Jesus commands.

Receiving God’s Love

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“And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us.  God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him.” 1 John 4:16-17 

Those who have not experienced unconditional love may have a hard time believing that God loves them.  Conditional love is not God’s kind of love. Conditional love is based on performance and expectations.  You may have experienced conditional love when someone had an expectation of how they thought you should perform.   If you performed to meet their expectations, then you were accepted and affirmed.  If love is measured by how well you meet someone’s expectations, then you will never feel loved.  You can never measure up.  Conditional love is based on measuring.

Unconditional love flows and cannot be contained.  It is like a flowing river that never stops.  It would be silly to go to the Mississippi River and try to measure the amount of water in it at a given moment.

Many people today struggle with feeling unloved, and they do not know why. The reason is because they have not fully experienced unconditional love before, which is God’s kind of love.   When you receive God’s love, perfect love, you do not have to fear measuring up again.

1 John 4:18 says,

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear.”

Why do so many people struggle with feeling like God doesn’t love them?  The heart must be soft, much like the soil of a garden, in order to receive love.  It is easier for a child to believe that God loves them than an adult.  Their heart is soft because they have not had years of heartache.  A garden must be tilled to make the soil soft so a seed can be planted.  The heart that has only experienced conditional love will grow harder as the years go by.  Some people eventually give up and say, “Why do I even try?”

If your heart has grown hard, then like a garden, it will need to be tilled so you can receive love again.  As the heart is tilled, the rocks and roots are removed and the heart gets softer.  The tilling brings about healing.  A healed heart will not be afraid when love comes close. A healed heart begins to open up and receive God’s love, and then give love to others.

How to Experience the Love of God?

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There was a wonderful Christian song written several years ago titled, “It’s My Fathers House.”  One line went something like this, “There is a big, big house with lots and lots of rooms and a big, big, table with lots and lots of food.  A big, big yard where we can play football…It’s my Fathers House.”

This song portrayed our Father God’s house as being home we can’t wait to go to.   Like coming home after a long journey, you can’t wait to get there and you can smell cookies baking even before you get to the front door.  When I am preparing our home for our kids to return, I make sure they feel loved with God’s unconditional love.

The prodigal son found God’s love as he walked toward his father’s house that day.  Even after he had squandered all his inheritance, he still saw his father’s loving arms reaching out towards him as he returned home.  His father represented our Heavenly Father, full of love, grace, and mercy.  Everyone needs to experience Father’s love and know that God loves them no matter what they have done.

 

Stressed and Distressed? Try Resting in His Arms

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“And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting looking and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him, [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless unbroken companionship]!” Isaiah 30:18 AMP

Have you ever sat for hours, listening to someone talk and thought to yourself, “I sure wish they would just get to the point?” I have! I have heard many teachers try to explain God’s love by using so many words and by the time they were finished, I had lost their point in the explanation. Over the years I have prayed, “Lord, just make it simple, so I can understand. I want to get it.”

As I read Isaiah 30:18, everything that describes God’s love to me was wrapped up in this verse. I felt completely safe, secure, and loved as I read it. Nothing could confuse or take the truth of His love from me. It was if I was taken up in His arms, and at that moment, I was held so securely I would never doubt again. He loves me so much and He has been waiting on me to fully receive His love.

He loves you too! He is looking, watching, and longing to be gracious to you. He has poured His loving kindness and tender mercies out and is watching and waiting for you to receive them. Like the father of the prodigal son, he was waiting, watching, and longing to see his son come back home. When the prodigal son finally came back home, his father wrapped his arms around him and covered him with the finest robe. Everything the father owned had been his.

That is how I see God; His arms opened wide with a robe just my size in His hands, waiting to wrap it around me. I am His daughter, and He has been patiently waiting on me. He says, “Daughter, I have been waiting on you to come and receive all I have prepared for you. All my blessings are contained inside of my love for you to receive.”

God’s desire has always been to show you how much He loves you. Simply receive it, and you too can rest in His arms all day.

Leaving the Little House

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“God sent forth His son… to redeem them that were under the law, that they might receive the adoption of sons. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 4:4, 5, 7)

So how do you get out of the little house?  How do you lay aside the lies you have believed that keep you in the past?  You start with the words that bound you up or tore you down instead of building you up.  You will feel like a child as long as you stay bound by the words that were spoken when you were a child. (Read I Corinthians 13:11)

I am a parent of three children, and I know I have said hurtful things to my children; I have asked for their forgiveness many times.  Like clearing a garden of weeds, forgiveness removes the words from their minds.  I believe parents should check their children’s gardens daily just to see if any lies have been planted.  Many times parents do not even realize how the things they say affect their children. A parent can say one thing and a child hear something entirely different.  I am not blaming parents in this exercise; my goal is to uproot the lies and heal the hurts.

Allow your Father God to uproot every lie that you have believed and plant His Word of Truth. Find scriptures that tell you of your Heavenly Father’s love for you.  His love is the river that John saw in Revelations 21: “There is a river that flows from the throne of God.”

What is Perfect Love?

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“Perfect love casts out all fear, for fear hath torment. And he that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:18

Perfect LoveWe are born with a need for love and fear is waiting at the door when we don’t receive it.  The first time we are touched and held as an infant, the need for love is met, but only for a moment.  As an infant, the ability to hold on to love has not been established.  The ability to hold on when someone says they are holding you is what we call “trust”.

Just as a baby will continue to cry until he/she learns how to trust, we as adults will continue to cry and complain until we mature and learn to trust God completely.

We first learn to trust through loving, nurturing parents.  We learn that we can trust them to return, even when they are away for a day.  Once trust has been established, they can be away for longer periods of time and we still feel secure and loved.  Their continual flow of love keeps our hearts soft.  A lack of love due to neglect, rejection or abuse is painful and causes emotions to shut down, so the heart begins to harden.

Each time pain is felt, a stone is formed in the heart.  After a period of time, the stones form a wall around the heart for protection against further pain.  A person with a stony heart has a difficult time receiving love from God or others.  The very thing that is needed is blocked out.

We all have areas of our heart that are stony due to the fact that we all have been hurt when love did not flow properly from our parents.  They could only give what they received from their parents.  You cannot drink water from an empty cup.

Women, did you have long periods of time when your father wasn’t in your life?  You may have built a wall around your heart making it difficult to trust and receive love from your husband.  Men, did you have a long period of time when you were not receiving nurturing from your mother?  You may experience difficulty trusting and receiving love from your wife.

Ask God for His perfect love to fill you; for God is the only one who has perfect love, (I John 4:18).

Imperfect love hurts; perfect love heals.

Written by Denise Boggs.

Our Greatest Need

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“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believed in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Our greatest need is love, and the greatest gift is love.   Everyone in the entire world needs the gift of love, but it is not the world’s kind of love- it is God’s kind of love!

God’s love is unconditional, which means we do not have to do anything to earn it or deserve it.  We just receive it.  Love that must be earned is conditional love.  When certain conditions or requirements must be met for love to be expressed, it is harmful and the relationship will not grow.

People who have never received the gift of unconditional love have come to believe they must work hard to earn it.  Their life is full of striving, trying to be good enough or do enough just to be loved and accepted.  They become people-pleasers, and everything they do is out of a need to feel loved, even if it is only a drop.

This is not God’s plan for your life.

Spend time with Him daily, waiting before Him until you feel saturated with His presence and filled with His love.  As you begin to sense His Love, you will feel compelled to share it with others.

Our greatest need is love, and God has provided for our need.

Written by Denise Boggs.